Today in a press conference in the Mahler-Saal, Wiener Staatsoper intendant Dominique Meyer and music director Franz Welser-Möst announced that the opera house will be switching to a so-called stagione system next season, following the model of Meyer’s erstwhile home the Théatre des Champs-Elysées. “We talked about it,” Welser-Möst said, “and Dominique and I agreed, like we usually do. Quantity isn’t everything. Being able to see a slapped-together production Il barbiere di Siviglia every week with a mezzo who can’t find the right door because she hadn’t seen the set until that night might be some Viennese music lovers’ idea of a privilege, but we call those people idiots.”
“Imbéciles!” agreed Meyer, slapping Welser-Möst on the back.
Since the house will only perform 14 different operas next season, tech rehearsals are planned and productions older than Welser-Möst have been recommended for eventual retirement. The program includes a revival of Anna Bolena, again with Anna Netrebko, to be followed by Anna di Cleva starring Edita Gruberova, Caterina d’Owardo with Julia Novikova, and finally Caterina Parrà with Agnes Baltsa. Erwin Schrott will play Enrico VIII in all four operas, “because my wife calls him the Jonathan Rhys-Meyers of opera anyway,” Welser-Möst said. Boleslaw Barlog will direct the new productions. Meyer brushed aside objections that this would be complicated by Barlog’s 1999 death. “That hasn’t been stopping him for the last decade, I don’t see why it would now. Besides, aren’t you just glad it isn’t another French director?”
There has also been talk that the Bayerische Staatsoper’s new Hans Neuenfels production of Im weissen Rössl will be coming to the Staatsoper. When this was mentioned, Volksoper intendant Robert Meyer appeared and proclaimed, “It’s MINE! All MINE! The name ‘Meyer’ is also mine and I want it back!”
On nights when the theater is empty due to the new schedule, the new “Wiener Schule” Orchestra will perform for tourists in period costume. Unlike other similar groups, their Viennese school will be the second one, and their rousing renditions of local favorite Webern’s symphony will be sure to draw crowds. To balance the other nights, the orchestra will be comprised entirely of women.
Several other changes were announced. In an attempt to attract new audiences, the Staatsoper’s posters will now feature pictures as well as text, and the slogan: “The Wiener Staatsoper: It’s where it’s at!” (The slogan will be in English.) However, the house denied plans to improve their website to include pictures as well. “Now, now, let’s not let this get out of hand,” Meyer said.
“We are so happy you joined us on this 1st of April to hear about this!” Welser-Möst said in closing. “I gotta go, what opera am I conducting tonight again? Das Rheingold? Oh, I better look at that real quick. Starts in the Rhine, doesn’t it? In it.”
7 Comments
And in further news, Charlotte Rampling will direct a new production of Zauberflote
Love it. Erwin Schrott would probably take the "JRM of opera" nickname, too.
Wow. This had me fooled until the last line. Great job.
laughing and laughing
Hilarious Zerbi.
Re: Twotter Feed – Is the coffee Starbucks or from the Sacher cafe – the pastries at the latter are quite excellent.
Cruz, you clearly don't live in Vienna… Meyer and FW-M have been arguing in public recently, and Meyer strenuously defended the rep system at his Rathaus talk on Wednesday and went on for ages about how wonderful and smart Viennese audiences are.
Lucy, I know! I just couldn't picture FW-M knowing who Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is. Why are they ALL named Meyer????
Marcillac, I think it was catered, probably by the same people who were doing the Premierefeier.
Sorry to say this post is not funny at all! Not even a little bit. Evidently the writer with whom i tend to agree on many subjcts such as the Martinoty produciton of "Nozze di Figaro" misunderstands the appeal of Opera and its central place in Viennese life.
The Stagione system detaches audiences from the opera. For me and for many other people opera is almost a daily or a weekly event. We don't plan our opera evenings a year in advance. We don't just go to see operas we don't know. We go over and over again to the same performance and we enjoy it more, the more frequenty we attend it. The truth is we go to the opera when we feel like it – when we want to be excited, when we want to experience the catarsis of shedding some tears… and for this puprose the precise position of a singer in a given production is of little importance.
By the way the writer may not be aware of the fact that the stagione system is practiced in Vienna by the Theater an der Wien. So we can enjoy both systems at one and the same time.
Yea i agree the Barbier is not fascinating. I've seen it first as a student back in September 88 that's surely a long time and already then it was old, but there are worse productions such as Don Giovanni, Figaro or Lohengrin. Well, so it goes. Out of 60 or 70 existing producitons some are better and some are worse.
And last and not least, if you want people to consider your ideas it is not advisable to refer to them as "imbeciles". After all anyone leafing into your blog is an Opera lover. And I really don't like to think of myself and of others who frequent the opera and enjoy the large variety of daily performances as imbeciles.
Dr. R. Kreitler